The burning question

Back in the day, when I was stoned off-my-face, my mental jaywalks often took me to sit beside the most niggling of big and lumpy questions.


I’d say “Hi”, poke it and prod it, and try to make it my friend so it would talk to me. I wanted answers. One in particular, to Monte Python’s burning question, “What is the meaning of life?” Seriously!

The more wasted I got, the closer I felt to THE ANSWER (so I thought), so I went hard until my brain and ears were audibly buzzing. I’d snuggle closer and closer to the question, getting glimpses of truth and meaning until one day I finally laid hold of it! But I was so excited I dropped it and couldn’t find it again. The frustration, anger and the unfairness of it all boiled up and overflowed. How cruel! To finally find what I was searching for and then have it snatched from my mind and the door slammed in my face with such finality. The demons laughed and pointed, knowing I’d never find the answer where I was looking…

Why would something so crucial be so well hidden? So hard to find? Well, it’s not. Not when you’re looking in the right place. It’s hidden in plain sight.

So once I finally stopped running from God I found that question didn’t seem to matter so much anymore. I just felt I knew what I was made for. Who I was made for. I was happy.

We’ve had lots of talks about THE QUESTION since then, like this one that we had today…

“Your purpose is only found in Me. My purpose is found in you. You are the reason I lived and died and rose again. I am the reason you live when you should have died, and will also rise again. Know My voice and My will. Do My will. I will lead and guide your every step, if you will let Me.  My eyes run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Myself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Me. There is much to be done, but not many listen and obey. It’s about relationship. With Me. Did you like the shooting star the other night? It was nothing until you looked at it. It’s about My will, my people and My kingdom. Will you take My hand? My plans for you are for good and not for evil. My plans for you are more than you could ever hope for or imagine.”


Well I must say that to know I don’t have to figure this thing called ‘life’ out all by myself, or mastermind an entire plan for my life on my own – is a real relief. If you know Jesus today, ask Him YOUR BURNING QUESTION, and wait for Him to answer. It might not be, ‘What is the meaning of life’, but if you don’t know what you’re here for yet – ask Him! He made you for a specific purpose that only you can fulfill! He equipped you for that purpose with the specific gifts and talents He gave you. If you don’t know Him today, ask Him this, “Lord, if you’re real, show yourself to me.”


All the best with the journey…
Read more of mine in my true story, The Wild Side or listen on podcast, Back from the Abyss

Janet xox


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